Posts tagged romance
Posts tagged romance
I know that guys have said hurtful things to you and about you.
I know you’ve been lied to, cheated on, treated like dirt, and maybe even abused.
I know you’ve had so many disappointments and let downs.
I know that you have loved and given so much more than you could spare to a guy who didn’t care.
I know that guys haven’t appreciated you and your beauty.
I know that these things and these actions make you feel worthless.
But I also know that your worth is dependent on the blood of One Man alone—not any of the others who failed you. He loves you so much, He would go to the greatest lengths just to show you how special you are to Him. And the right man is going to know this as well and he will treat you like the precious jewel you are.
I know that people sometimes hurt us and mess up big time, but it is their loss.
Don’t you realize how special you are? I love every inch of you. You know, I could tell you the exact number of stars in the sky but I could also tell you the number of hairs on your head? That’s how precious you are. I care about every intimate detail about you, so much so, that I designed them all before the day of your birth. So I hate when you talk down about yourself. First, because I love you so much and second because you are saying that my work in you is imperfect. Beloved, I do not make ugly things. You are so beautiful.
You long for love in others, but you do not look for mine. I think you’re worth dying for and I want to show you the real meaning of love. Please, will you let me show you? You are worth nothing less than every drop of my blood, sweat, and tears.
I will literally go to the grave and back for you, my love. That’s how special you are.
To my wonderful Christian guys, know what you should be looking for in your lovely lady?
Your lady isn’t a damsel in distress, at least not anymore. I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to abandon the Knight-in-Shining-Armor complex with your lady. She’s already been saved, and it wasn’t you who saved her. Her Knight rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and her King wore a crown of thorns. Yeah, He’s different, to be sure, but I promise, He got the job done when it came time to do the rescuing. So your lady needs to know that she’s saved and she’s a Princess. She doesn’t need your help in that department.
Your lady isn’t a wilting flower. She’s a solid temple with the Cornerstone of Christ. She’s going to help you, sustain you, stand up for you, shelter you, and respect you like crazy.
Your lady is more than a pretty face (And other body parts. Yes, I know how you think, guys). Her beauty comes from God and she knows it. It’s a beauty that doesn’t fade with time or age or physical scars. She’s confident in her identity and she isn’t going to fish for or ask for compliments (But give them to her anyway, to let her know those awesome things about her are appreciated).
Your lady doesn’t love or depend on you first. That’s right, I said it! Her love is for that awesome King who saved her and you are second to that. But because she loves that Savior first, she has the picture of His perfect love in her mind when she’s looking at you. So she’s going to be able to love you better than any average girl who makes you the center of her world.
Remember! You aren’t her Knight in Shining Armor, but you’ve gotta love her Knight anyway. Because she knows who she is and what she wants, her and her Daddy the King are going to be pretty picky on who she can settle down with. So be brave and don’t settle for anything less than these things in your lady. I promise, she’s worth the wait.
A Godly man obviously has God as number one in his life and you as number two.
A Godly man doesn’t want something from you, he wants the world for you. It’s not about what you can give him because to him, you’re enough.
A Godly man doesn’t need you but he wants you. He doesn’t depend on you, but he cherishes you.
A Godly man will appreciate everything about you that all the wrong guys didn’t.
A Godly man will help strengthen you in your faith as well as ask you to strengthen him in his. You are a team when you’re with this guy; you two are equals.
A Godly man will respect you emotionally as well as physically. He’ll never ask you to give too much in either respect.
A Godly man already knows all of these things. You don’t need to tell him or show him because he’s already got it covered.
A Godly woman shouldn’t settle for anything less than these things in her man.
This will be my last post on this subject, but I think it is the most important. You see, I didn’t learn this until just recently and it was a difficult lesson.
Romance is pretty easy. It’s a lot of pretty words (That are not always genuine), little gifts, butterflies in the stomach and all that. However, it does not leave you vulnerable. It’s a lot of sugar-coating, usually, and not a lot of authenticity. It’s comfortable. The Bible talks about God’s love many times like a Romance. It describes His burning passion, His gifts for His children, His jealousy for His spouse, and His delight in her presence. However, God did not just romance this world, He loved it. That is much more difficult.
Love requires sacrifice. It is unselfish and puts the beloved before all else. The hands and feet of Love are dirty, nail-scarred and bleeding. If we were to love everyone how Christ called us to love, we would be put in uncomfortable situations. I’ve said it many times, but the ultimate symbol of love is a cross. The heart of the loving God is one that is broken. It is broken for the world and for people in need. It is a heart that went, very literally, to the grave and back for the beloved. Sometimes, love hurts, but it also forgives. Love is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. It is sacrificial. God gave everything for this world in order to love it and not merely romance it. Now, the issue of Romance aside, it’s our turn to love the world and love others as He first loved us.
I really don’t particularly like romantic movies of any kind. Occasionally, there will be an exception to the rule and I’ll like a chick flick more than I expected, and I’ll still go to the theaters or rent those romantic comedies when I’m with my friends and just grin and bear it. Teenage romances are the worst kind. They are almost unbearable to me. Usually, they just consist of kids hurting each other a lot, leading people on, breaking hearts, and all that annoying drama. They’re like middle school hormones on steroids, and I just can’t watch them because I hate to see that. I hate films, media, and literature that teach young people it’s okay to treat others that way or that it’s okay for people to pine over and depend on a girl or guy for happiness.
You see, romance is so impulsive. We see someone we like and we want them. We must have them. We make stupid moves to get them as fast as we can and then we make stupid moves to keep them once we’ve got them. I used to council young girls at my home church in Dallas, and I heard this one a hundred times over: “You don’t understand, Kelsey. I love him.” I noticed a lot of times the ”L word” came up with most couples after about three or four months of dating (Or sometimes just knowing someone), which is so fast for young people who are still maturing and learning about themselves much less learning about other people. It’s like we all rush to fall in love because we want it so desperately. Romance says that’s okay because we need it now, so romance will settle for whatever we can get as long as it’s immediate. Those hormones get to our heads and we let them control us, which often ends in heartbreak.
However, love is patient and we should guard our hearts. When I say love is patient, every one’s minds immediately go to the physical aspects of a relationship (Especially sex), which is true, love waits for that, but it also waits for everything else. It waits for an emotional commitment as well as a physical commitment. Love is patient with the beloved on days when it is difficult because that’s how strong love is. Patience also suggests a sense of rationality that is often not associated with love, mostly because we mix up the real thing with romance. I mean, it’s true, we cannot calculate everything out about love (Thank God! That takes some of the fun out of it), but at the same time, it doesn’t have to be so completely nonsensical that we just throw our hearts out in the middle of the road for just anybody to step on. Love doesn’t want to give the beloved a damaged heart.Love waits till God and God alone has taken care of that messy, broken heart, so that it can be given to someone when it is shiny and new. Love wants the beloved to have the best of you, not the pieces.
Please be careful not to rush into “love” because most of the time we’re just rushing into romance which, as I mentioned in my first note, does not last forever. Don’t settle for some cheap, teenage romance like in the movies when you can have the real, pure, unconditional love that is so much stronger. Guarding our hearts and using those God-given brains isn’t such a bad idea. Remember, Love doesn’t want just anyone, it wants the right one.
I see so many beautiful people get swept away “in love.” Oh, Kelsey has been there! Trust me. I’ve been positively pathetic before, and looking back now I absolutely laugh at myself. You see, when I became a Christian and I began to get to know God, Who is Love, I began to realize I knew nothing about love at all! All the time I thought I was practicing love, I was really practicing romance and completely missing the point and missing what it is like to really, truly, deeply love a person as God loves them. Now, while I still don’t know much about real love, I know a little bit. I would like to share with you what I’ve learned so hopefully all of us can learn to differentiate between romance and unconditional love. This will be the first out of a few posts on this subject.
Firstly, romance is fleeting. We get bored of that nonsense after awhile, if we are all being honest. That’s when I’ve seen a lot of couples break down. After the “butterflies” go away and all the “cutesy” things stop, the relationship stops as well. I heard that statistically, that “in love” feeling lasts on average just one year. I believe it, because I have known many couples who have dated for about a year and then suddenly they call it quits. Even the ones who didn’t have many “problems”, so to speak, just decide it isn’t worth the effort anymore. However, the “in love” feeling, isn’t love.
Love is not a feeling, and that’s why it doesn’t change. Love “never fails” according to 1 Corinthians 13. It goes on steadily, even after that feeling of a new relationship begins to fade. Love is a verb. It is an action and a choice. You choose to love someone, even on the days when you just don’t “feel like it”, because love is unselfish. Lewis puts it this way: “Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained”. I think that sums it up quite well. That’s why love says after the romance is gone, “I have you, and man that is more than enough for me. That’s all I ever wanted.”
I should just like to add that romance isn’t bad. Misused, it can be bad like any other thing, yes, but in itself, it is not. In fact, coupled with love, romance can be quite beautiful (Oh, and that’s coming from a cynic, so write that down somewhere!), but without love, it fades away. That is because God is love, and like anything else in this world, it cannot survive apart from Him.
jedbrewer from my ministry staff wrote the following:
One of the most common – and most beautiful – attributes amongst Christian ladies is a desire to nurture. A desire to comfort, and encourage, and serve.
In the right context, this is an amazing, Godly aim. In the wrong context, it…
I’m not looking right now, but this is definitely my aim for the future.